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Post by pearlquartz17 on Dec 1, 2015 0:08:41 GMT
I
The fire in the brick hearth roared and cast a lively glow over the already well-lit room. A clock hacked the hours to bits with its methodical tick. Rain beat against the windows incessantly, like a drunkard begging his ex to come back after she moved in with her grandmother.
Mr P. Quartz faced the fire, surrounded by a spacious Queen Anne's chair. His lenses glowed with firelight. His face was emotionless as he pondered something insignificant. His eyes--the color of coffee--glowed with a certain quiet, far-off madness. His body was here, but his soul dwelled elsewhere.
He was a small man, with darkish hair combed back and set with a little pomade. He wore only his robe and some trousers. His right hand held a glass of red wine, and his left clutched a body pillow of a slim, pale woman with peach-colored hair and a pearl placed on her forehead.
"Ah, Pearl," he intoned, "let's see what's on the TV, hm?" He grabbed the remote near to his Pearl pillow and flipped on the TV above the hearth. It was a rerun of Steven Universe, specifically the episode "Too Far." "Another damn hiatus," he muttered, and sipped his wine with finesse.
A few minutes in, and the signal was ousted by a red signal. "Goddamnit," Mr Quartz said. Then he put his wine down. He recognized the signal.
He pressed a button on the side of the TV, and slid down a rabbit hole into a gigantic room beneath the house. He turned to his massive supercomputer, and saw that it's main monitors were flashing red. "It's a sign, Rebecca."
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Post by WikiWhippleChevron on Dec 1, 2015 0:51:16 GMT
Whipple kicked a bucket.
Literally, not metaphorically, do not worry I am not dying. I was just bored out of my mind, so I kicked a bucket that I kinda just had. It hurt like hell. Probably should have dumped out the water. Now my foot was a little wet, and hurt like fuck.
"MERDE!"
I sat down, clutching my foot. A pair of his boots sat to the side, mocking me. "Ha, shoulda worn me" they seemed to say. I flipped them off and sat back down on the couch, completely forgetting about the bucket. I lay back, reached for a Mountain Dew that wasn't there, swore at myself for forgetting to grab one, then stood back up. I took one step before I noticed a red overtaking my laptop at the edge of the other couch in the TV room.
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Post by agailazen on Dec 1, 2015 1:19:41 GMT
"Welcome to Lard Lad's, home of the Colossal Doughnut, may I take your order?" I said to the particularly portly man in front of me. He needs to get himself checked out, that shade of yellow on his skin can't be good. For crying out loud, he only has three hairs on his head! Anyway, he took out some cash and slapped it on the counter.
"I want a Colossal Doughnut, just like the one on the sign!" Oh boy is he gonna be disappointed... I pulled out one of the "colossal" doughnuts from its perch and handed it to him.
"D'oh! Nuts!" He grunted, "That's false advertising!" He pointed to the giant mascot outside as my squeaky-voiced co-worker decided to butt in. I think he's doing this to spite me over that one time I accidentally stepped on his toe.
"Sorry sir, no refunds!" Before I could defend myself, the customer stared me in the eye and spoke ominously.
"I paid for a Colossal Doughnut, and I'm gonna GET a Colossal Doughnut!" He then walked out to his...bright pink sedan.
"You don't scare us!" I was just about ready to strangle the guy when he said that. Maybe that's why his voice is so squeaky.
---
So, that could've gone better. Got grilled by the boss and I might get shot and processed into a man-sized doughnut later, but what matters is that I still have a job. Tonight, I'm gonna re-watch some Steven Universe episodes, go to sleep, and tomorrow will be a new day.
I spit my mouthwash into the sink and looked at myself in the mirror. I should really cut my hair...but now, Steven Universe.
"Hmm...I think I'll see how Peridot deals with rainy days," I said to myself as I queued up Amazon.
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Post by Altruvolant on Dec 2, 2015 23:41:24 GMT
The treachery tore the still burning embers from my heart, all that's left is a pit of ash. It was a weekday and school awaited me. I opened the door of my bedroom that lead out to the hallway, I looked back for some reason and found myself in a forest that contained a small lake in this distance. My legs brushed against the ferns as I walked toward the source of water, I made it. My head peered to look at my reflected but the water had turned red, I tripped and could feel the suffocating, iron smelling substance fill my body and encase my joints, like arthritis. I was falling, my body could feel itself falling. I awoke in my room, morning, the treachery tore the at burning embers from my heart, all that's left is a pit of ash. It was a weekend and I had nothing to do.
I got dressed and headed out the front door of my house, I walked to the local Lard Lad's, hoping I wasn't going to be kidnapped, knowing I was only around 5'2" and very vulnerable. I waited outside the empty doughnut shop and waited for it to open as I leaned against the door. ----- ((Pq asked me to post for him))
Mr Quartz' eyes darted around the massive screen, his hair slightly disheveled, a man who was more mad than sane at this moment in time. "Rebecca, read aloud the coordinates." The screen had already revealed the location but he craved that confirmation, that sweet sound of a robotic voice telling you what you want to hear.
He reached out to touch the screen as if a church choir was singing and he was one of those people raising one of their arms toward the ceiling, who could "feel" God calling out to them. "Thank you, Rebecca." Mr Quartz whispered, closing his eyes in the feeling of the moment.
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Post by agailazen on Dec 3, 2015 2:24:27 GMT
"Hey there." I said to the kid waiting out front. Thank god he wasn't the fatass with hepatitis. Hell, this might be my chance to make up for last night.
"Just give me a sec..." I let us both in and got behind the counter, "What'll it be? Today's special is soylent green."
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Post by Altruvolant on Dec 3, 2015 2:47:41 GMT
"What is soylet green?" I said with a face of disgust while scanning the many options displayed on the towering menuboard, "Uh, I'll just have a glazed, no cream." I reached into the back of my jean pants pocket and pulled out a wallet that would be marketed to men. My fingers slid into wallet and paused, waiting for the guy to state the price.
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Post by agailazen on Dec 3, 2015 2:50:00 GMT
"That'll be $1.50," I said, handing the plain glazed doughnut to the kid, "Have a nice day."
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Post by Altruvolant on Dec 3, 2015 3:04:42 GMT
I set two dollars on the counter and received the donut, "Thanks, keep the change." I said cooly. "I should sell hardcore drugs, fucking dollar fifty for a glazed donut." I muttered before sitting down in a booth to enjoy my donut. I rested the side of face in my hand as my elbow acted as a support, I stared out the window, lost in thought.
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Post by agailazen on Dec 3, 2015 3:15:49 GMT
"You're not the only one with problems, kid..." I muttered, tire screetching drawing my attention to the parking lot where a familiar pink sedan was accelerating...and it was chained to the giant mascot.
"Shit, shit, shit!" I ran out to...I dunno what I was actually thinking, but I do know I needed to stop this maniac. I just haven't figured exactly how...and it didn't matter anyway. Before I could even reach the asphalt, the sedan was driving off with Lard Lad's doughnut. It was then I decided to just scream at the sky. It was then that my squeaky-voiced co-worker showed up, no doubt making a Vine of me. Fuck it, I'm still screaming.
"I'll be sure to tell the boss you left the door open." He said simply.
"Yeah, I'm probably fired. Fuck it, I showed up before you," I presented some cash to him, "Gimme a dozen."
--
Ahh, eating a dozen of your favorite doughnut can make all the trouble go away...except financial stability troubles, but who cares? A dozen doughnuts, and I don't have to deal with my arch nemesis being a smartass because he serves me now. 'Nuff said. It's nice being a customer to a business you work at.
I flipped off my former co-worker as I ate away at one of the tables.
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Post by WikiWhippleChevron on Dec 3, 2015 3:25:55 GMT
"Breaking News, A man drove off with a giant fucking doughnut"
I had a hard time hearing things for what they actually said, I focused very hard
"A local resident of the town you are in chained his Pink Sudan to a giant doughnut sign drove off and caused several thousand dollars in property damage"
"Well fucking damn, wow. I'm really glad people are stealing giant doughnuts instead of shooting and exploding me"
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