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Post by pearlquartz17 on Dec 29, 2015 2:01:46 GMT
Yellow Diamond receives a phone call:"Jasper, how's my favorite Gem?....What? Slow down, slow down. Huh? What do you mean, 'They stopped the cluster?' F***! Oh f***, f***, f************! Who's 'they?' What the hell is a 'Steven Universe?'....So who's left? Are you s******* me? Well where are you?....Wait, you've been flying around for two weeks trying to get a signal? You must smell like feet wrapped in leathery, burnt bacon!....Oh, I'm sorry. I thought my 'Gem-in-charge' could protect a small thermal exhaust port that's only two meters wide! That thing wasn't even fully paid off yet! Do you have any idea what this is gonna do to my credit?" Later, after having ordered lunch:"What? Oh, just rebuild it? Oh yeah, real f****** original! And who's gonna gimme a loan, jackhole, you? You got an ATM on that nasal Lite Brite? Now get your 7'2 Cheeto Puff ass back here, or I'm gonna tell everyone what a whiny bitch you were about Peridorito or Peridonto or whatever the hell her name is! [to her associates in the room] ....Oh geez, she's crying. [back to Jasper over the phone] Hey, hey, come on, don't do that. Look, I'm just dealing with a lot of crap right now--Cluster destroyed by a Gem-human hybrid. I didn't mean to snap....Just get back here. Okay, okay. Bye. I--I love you too." [Yellow Diamond hangs up] Inspired by this Robot Chicken sketch: www.youtube.com/watch?v=3F1d3QWsyk0
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Post by WikiWhippleChevron on Dec 29, 2015 3:57:17 GMT
Amazing
Absolutely amazing
"Oh geez, she's crying"
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