Post by WikiWhippleChevron on Oct 23, 2016 22:06:50 GMT
April 30, 1945 AD
Berlin, Germany
"Führer, we need to get you out of here, the Soviets won't be long" Arnold warned frantically, as they marched down the hall past Jackass. Jackass raised his arm in a salute as they walked. Hitler gave him a funny look, since he was wearing his gas mask inside the bunker, but continued on.
Of course Jackass had to, or else face punishment much worse than anything Hitler could do.
Jackass was an immortal, he couldn't die. 3000 years ago a plethora of immortal beings popped into existence, for reasons still unknown to this day. The immortals were so powerful, that they were an immediate danger to the humans who already lived on the Earth. A group of the most powerful immortals made an agreement that no immortal should ever harm a human, or let them know what they really are. Thus the gas mask, since Jackass was a donkey. A literal, anthropomorphic, donkey.
Ironically of course.
If the gasmask were to come off around a human, and the human were to see him and tell other people... Jackass didn't want to think about that.
Then the alarms went off, the Soviets were here.
Hitler and Arnold at the end of the hall took a second to realize what was going on, then ran. They drew weapons and went deeper into the bunker. Jackass raised his rifle and kicked open a door, leaning out of it for cover. He may be immortal but he isn't much good shot.
He heard footsteps coming to the bend at the end of the hall. He prepared for the soviets to round the corner, but nothing happened. The footsteps stopped. Jackass was about to move forwards, when something came around. It bounced twice, then...
Jackass dove into the room, but shrapnel from the blast caught his leg. He couldn't hear anything but a monotone ringing. He just hardly registered the soviets passing him by, before he felt a sharp pain in the back of his head.
Jackass woke up. How long had he been dead for. He gathered his strength to stand up, groaning as he did. The shrapnel must have still been in his legs. He picked his rifle up from the floor. It had a bullet in the stock but other than that it probably still worked. He shook the blood off of the rifle, luckily none of it had dried. That also meant he hadn't been out for too long.
Jackass poked his head around the corner; two soviets and an American were talking. Jackass couldn't speak Russian, he wanted to learn but never had the initiative, so he had no idea . He was trying to figure out if anything had happened while he was dead, when the American spotted him. Rather than tell his comrades though, he said something casually, then they walked off.
"I thought I shot you" the American said.
Jackass retreated behind the door "You speak German?"
"I speak a lot of languages, Chinese, English, French, German... I've had a couple thousand years to learn"
It didn't take Jackass long to realize what he meant. This guy was an immortal, and he knew Jackass was too.
"Yes I know what you are" he said as if he read his mind. "I've been waiting to show off, it's been so long since I had a good fight"
Jackass acted quickly, pulling his rifle up and rounding the corner, prefiring at the end of the hall. The bullets hit but bounced off, the skin of the man turning green as each bullet hit. Jackass fired until his rifles started clicking.
The immortal laughed. "I'm a little harder to kill than that". He pulled a green crystal off his belt, and it extended into an axe. He advanced slowly at first, accelerating into a sprint. Jackass pulled out a knife as the man swung, avoiding the axe, then followed it up with an arcing slice from the knife, catching Wiki in the back. He drew blood.
"Dammit" the immortal swore. He held the wound, and without looking, pointed the axe at Jackass. A flame burst out of the tip, throwing Jackass at the ceiling. He came down on the floor, and heard a crack. Something was broken.
The Jackass got back on his feet, with difficulty. He fractured a rib or two, and the metal shards in his leg didn't help anything. Jackass pressed forwards while the American was still tending the cut. Jackass tackled him to the floor, but was quickly thrown off.
"Resilient little bastard" he said. He pressed his hand to the cut and fire shot out, cauterizing it. "M'name's Wiki by the way, we should meet up again, y'know, after we're done killing each other"
"Mine's Jackass, asshole".
Wiki laughed, then charged. The two clashed, trying to gain the advantage over the other. Wiki throw Jackass at the wall, then pulled the axe, and swung. Just as before, Jackass avoided the slow attack as it plowed through the concrete behind him, then picked the knife up off the floor, and shoved it in his gut. Wiki gasped, and grabbed Jackass's neck. Jackass wasn't strong enough to get out, so he simply kneed the hilt of the knife, driving it deeper into his gut.
Wiki grabbed the grenade on Jackass's belt, and pulled the pin out. "I'm a sore loser" he said humorously.
And they both died.
Berlin, Germany
"Führer, we need to get you out of here, the Soviets won't be long" Arnold warned frantically, as they marched down the hall past Jackass. Jackass raised his arm in a salute as they walked. Hitler gave him a funny look, since he was wearing his gas mask inside the bunker, but continued on.
Of course Jackass had to, or else face punishment much worse than anything Hitler could do.
Jackass was an immortal, he couldn't die. 3000 years ago a plethora of immortal beings popped into existence, for reasons still unknown to this day. The immortals were so powerful, that they were an immediate danger to the humans who already lived on the Earth. A group of the most powerful immortals made an agreement that no immortal should ever harm a human, or let them know what they really are. Thus the gas mask, since Jackass was a donkey. A literal, anthropomorphic, donkey.
Ironically of course.
If the gasmask were to come off around a human, and the human were to see him and tell other people... Jackass didn't want to think about that.
Then the alarms went off, the Soviets were here.
Hitler and Arnold at the end of the hall took a second to realize what was going on, then ran. They drew weapons and went deeper into the bunker. Jackass raised his rifle and kicked open a door, leaning out of it for cover. He may be immortal but he isn't much good shot.
He heard footsteps coming to the bend at the end of the hall. He prepared for the soviets to round the corner, but nothing happened. The footsteps stopped. Jackass was about to move forwards, when something came around. It bounced twice, then...
Jackass dove into the room, but shrapnel from the blast caught his leg. He couldn't hear anything but a monotone ringing. He just hardly registered the soviets passing him by, before he felt a sharp pain in the back of his head.
Jackass woke up. How long had he been dead for. He gathered his strength to stand up, groaning as he did. The shrapnel must have still been in his legs. He picked his rifle up from the floor. It had a bullet in the stock but other than that it probably still worked. He shook the blood off of the rifle, luckily none of it had dried. That also meant he hadn't been out for too long.
Jackass poked his head around the corner; two soviets and an American were talking. Jackass couldn't speak Russian, he wanted to learn but never had the initiative, so he had no idea . He was trying to figure out if anything had happened while he was dead, when the American spotted him. Rather than tell his comrades though, he said something casually, then they walked off.
"I thought I shot you" the American said.
Jackass retreated behind the door "You speak German?"
"I speak a lot of languages, Chinese, English, French, German... I've had a couple thousand years to learn"
It didn't take Jackass long to realize what he meant. This guy was an immortal, and he knew Jackass was too.
"Yes I know what you are" he said as if he read his mind. "I've been waiting to show off, it's been so long since I had a good fight"
Jackass acted quickly, pulling his rifle up and rounding the corner, prefiring at the end of the hall. The bullets hit but bounced off, the skin of the man turning green as each bullet hit. Jackass fired until his rifles started clicking.
The immortal laughed. "I'm a little harder to kill than that". He pulled a green crystal off his belt, and it extended into an axe. He advanced slowly at first, accelerating into a sprint. Jackass pulled out a knife as the man swung, avoiding the axe, then followed it up with an arcing slice from the knife, catching Wiki in the back. He drew blood.
"Dammit" the immortal swore. He held the wound, and without looking, pointed the axe at Jackass. A flame burst out of the tip, throwing Jackass at the ceiling. He came down on the floor, and heard a crack. Something was broken.
The Jackass got back on his feet, with difficulty. He fractured a rib or two, and the metal shards in his leg didn't help anything. Jackass pressed forwards while the American was still tending the cut. Jackass tackled him to the floor, but was quickly thrown off.
"Resilient little bastard" he said. He pressed his hand to the cut and fire shot out, cauterizing it. "M'name's Wiki by the way, we should meet up again, y'know, after we're done killing each other"
"Mine's Jackass, asshole".
Wiki laughed, then charged. The two clashed, trying to gain the advantage over the other. Wiki throw Jackass at the wall, then pulled the axe, and swung. Just as before, Jackass avoided the slow attack as it plowed through the concrete behind him, then picked the knife up off the floor, and shoved it in his gut. Wiki gasped, and grabbed Jackass's neck. Jackass wasn't strong enough to get out, so he simply kneed the hilt of the knife, driving it deeper into his gut.
Wiki grabbed the grenade on Jackass's belt, and pulled the pin out. "I'm a sore loser" he said humorously.
And they both died.